Still no shows to go to, but that will end very soon. Thursday is when it will start with Woodside Quinn. About this weekend, well it was full of all kinds of swings for me. Great days, great moments, bad days and even worse feelings.

Friday we planned to have a party of Liam’s house. We got a keg, setup some shit so we could play, and started drinking. Of course, we couldn’t get enough people over there, even though there were tons of people right across the street where there wasn’t even a keg. Anyways, Jon and Ken both showed up for the party, as well as Kelly, Carissa, Brad and Chad. Some others came over too, but it really isn’t that important. :) Eventually we played a few songs and had some fun. Speed quarters was what really did everyone in at the party. The night was going alright so far. After a bunch of drinking, a group of us decided to take the walk to Murphy’s. The walk to the bar was quite interesting. At one point Carissa started kissing me and I was just in shock. I am not complaining, but I just didn’t want it to happen like that. She is still talking to Dan, and I didn’t want to cause any problems with that. My goal was to wait it out until she ended it with him, and then I would make my move. Well I guess it is too late for that. At one point Kelly started to kiss me too, and I was thinking threesome, but I just couldn’t work it all out. :) Anyway, we get to the bar. Carissa and I are still making out from time to time, and there was quite a group of people there that we knew. I was thinking that this was such a great night, and I was having a blast. When the bar closed, we went over the Chad’s house and we ended up sleeping next to each other in the little living room or whatever. When I woke up, she had moved into Dan’s bed and I guess that would be the point where all the fun ended.

I left before most of them were awake cause DMB tickets went on-sale. I picked up some tickets for Riverbend and for one of the Deer Creek nights. I got a ticket for Carissa and one for Kelly as well. So then after that I spent most of the day just loungin’ around Liam’s house. I made it home at one point just so I could get ready to party again. We were drinking from the keg again, well because we didn’t have enough people over the night before to kill it. Pretty much the same group of people came over but Dan was added into the mix. I guess Kelly and Chad were both mad at her for bringing him around me. It really didn’t bother me at first, cause I am still waiting for her to just end it all, but I guess for some crazy reason she still wants to try to work things out. Dan has no clue what happened, and I guess it is up to her to tell him. I don’t know what she is going to do. So we all sat around and drank. Eventually everyone headed out of the house to go to a party (for the youngins) or to the Library (the bar). I went to the party for a bit, but left shortly after getting there cause it wasn’t that good. I went to the bar, and this is where everything just started to bug me. I mean Carissa sat the entire night and talked to Dan. She knew I was there, but I guess she is still attempting to work the shit out. I mean she did send a few winks my way, but come on this is just ridiculous. So anyway I spent most of the night talking with Kelly. She was pretty upset for me, maybe even more so than I was. She knows how I feel, and was just shocked. One time Carissa came up to me and we had a little conversation that went along the lines of this:
Her: Ed, I’m sorry.
Me: Don’t be, don’t worry about it.
Her: I just don’t want to loose you as a friend.
Me: Ok
Her: We’ll talk about it sometime when we are alone.
Me: Ok

There are a few things that bug me about this. FRIEND, I can’t stand that word anymore. I hear it way to much and it is not a good thing when you are interesting in someone. I mean I guess she is sorry, not that I was really hurt, but I just want to know what is going on in her head. I will be glad to discuss all of this with her sometime, I just hope it is soon before anything else bad can happen. I think she might be just as confused, if not more, than I am. Every time she leaves a bar, she gives me a nice hug and even kisses my cheek or neck. I don’t really know many people who do that to anyone. And why would she initiate something with me. Kelly thinks that she will go right to me when they are done. But do I really want to be that guy? I know this entry is full of a bunch of questions, you can feel free to IM me with any suggestions or advice on what I should do. I am really just spitting out everything that is in my head.

So tonight, I have a hockey game. Then I’m gonna go to Byron’s birthday bash at some bar, I can’t remember which one. I guess Carissa is brining Dan there again. So I’m sure I’ll have some stories later on…