I love Chicago! It is such a great town. The shows were incredible, and I had an incredible time. I think all of us are very excited for the summer. There really isn’t much else to say.

Who will forget:
doogan (fighty this is the way it is spelled!)
chiquita
15…

25

Man I am exhausted today. Last night I went up to Columbus to see the John Mayer show at the Newport and then followed it up with the Fate Hates Us show. Both were very good shows, and at both I got to hear some songs I had never heard before. I actually got to hear No Such Thing twice, once by Mayer and then Tom from FHU played it since he wasn’t at the Mayer show. :) I didn’t get to bed until about 6 AM, and I left my mom a note to get me out of bed before she left for work. I have no clue what time she got me up, but I couldn’t handle it. I eventually woke up on my own around 10:30 and decided to go into work. That’s only 4.5 hours of sleep. Oh well, it was well worth it…

So at the Mayer show, I was pretty much just chillin’ right by Adam E’s rig the whole time. I could see most of everything for most of the night until the towards the encore when the floor got packed with people. It was still cool though. Right before he played Comfortable which would be the last song of the night, a girl that was standing next to Adam tapped me on the shoulder and said, “I just wanted to tell you that you are a cutie.” The song was starting, and I really wanted to hear it, so I just said thanks and then listened to the song. It was a great song to hear, and after it was over I turned around to start up a conversation with this girl. I guess she lives pretty close to me and went to high school at Sycamore, but she is at OSU now. I believe her name was Leanne, but I had trouble remembering it until just now. I have a serious problem with remembering people’s names, I need to find a way to fix that somehow. Anyway, she said that she had homework to do, but I told her that I would be going to the Fate Hates Us show, if she decided to slack off a bit. She did not show up there, but I thought that the whole thing was pretty cool. Maybe I’ll run into her again sometime. Fighty and Liam both tried to convince me that she told me that cause she thought I was gay, but I think they were just jealous. :)

So onto the Fate Hates Us show. I tell you what, these guys are really getting damn good, not that they weren’t before but I was very impressed with them last night, and I think so were some of the others that I brought up there to the show. Joe Vedder (Mr. Pearl Jam) loved the “Alive” cover, just as I knew he would. The band got a new trailer and Sabrina hooked them up with a cool new banner. I wish that more people would have shown up for the show there, but I think it will all happen for them in time. I found out that some of the guys read this journal, which is cool. Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually reads this, but I like writing in it. It gives me a way to remember all kinds of events and just get everything out my system that I need to “talk” about. :)

Well I guess I’m gonna get back to work now. I have a big day of class tomorrow with some tests and a project, but then after that it is off to Chicago for some DMB. I am very very excited for this. Have a good weekend everyone…

Damn I did it again. Well I guess I will try to remember all of what has happened…

So school has been keeping me extremely busy. I haven’t had much time for a social life in the past week. Nothing really big happened at the end of last week, so I’ll move on to the weekend:
Friday we all hung out over at Liam’s house and ended up hitting up a couple of parties. Nothing too big, but we all had a good time.
Saturday was Springfest down on campus. The day was a little bit overcast but it never rained, which is a good thing. I caught the end of Homunculous’ set and then headed over to the other stage to watch my boys Fate Hates Us play a 4 song set. I recorded it and I think it is the best one I have of them yet. After their show, we all chilled and listened to the other bands and drank a bunch of beer. I ended up staying at the place from 4 till around 11. I think I had quite a bit to drink and not enough food. We all went to some parties afterwards and had a great time. It was truly another pretty drunk weekend…

This week has once again been a very busy one. Today I spent like 4 hours in the library doing research, which is more time that I probably have ever spent there before. It has gotten cold out again and scared all the girls back into hibernation, but I think the weather is looking up for the next couple days. I was in a somewhat sad mood today, although I guess I am over it now. It is just that Amanda was in my dreams last night for the first time in awhile. I had a rough time trying to sleep and that probably put me into my bad mood for the rest of the day. I’m not sure what caused her to enter my head again, maybe it is because I have pretty much completely given up on Carissa and because of that I have nothing to take my mind off of it. I don’t think it is that though, cause I am about completely over her, I think it is just a coincidence. Yeah but I am pretty much done with Carissa, even before anything even started. I just don’t think it is worth any of my effort. Maybe I will be proven wrong in the future, but for now that is where I stand.

So tomorrow I’m going to Columbus to see John Mayer, and then Fate Hates Us after the Mayer show. It should be a great time. And then this weekend a group of us are traveling to Chicago to see 2 Dave Matthews Band shows. I haven’t seen one of these shows in quite some time, so I’m very excited. I hope everyone has a nice night, I’m about to get some extra sleep…

So my brother requested a journal entry for tonight, I guess since he saw my away message that it was Carissa’s birthday. Sorry to disappoint you Tim, but nothing happened with that at all. It was a good night, great weather, beers flowing, but she is very much caught up with Danny. There really isn’t much I can do about it, and Kelly has told me that she is passing off our whole make out thing like it is my fault, when actually it was hers. Actually fault is such a bad word, since I guess it was apparent that we both wanted it, but she started it all and continued on with it. Well I have come to the point where I feel like it really isn’t worth my time or effort to try to work anything out with her. I’m not saying I wouldn’t do anything in the future, but right now it is just dumb. There are lots of fish out there. :)

So this weekend, I saw Fate Hates Us a couple times, and had a great time hanging out with those guys. I didn’t get to sing Poker with them this time, cause the cops broke up the party before we could get around to it. I tell you what though, these guys are great. I enjoy seeing them anytime. Friday, I saw them in Columbus, one of my favorite cities to visit. Every time I go to that place, I get fucked up, as does everyone else. Not much else to really say about that. Saturday they played the same house in Clifton. It was a wonderful time, and I wish it could have only lasted longer. Oh well shit happens I guess. That sums up my weekend, it was a drunk one, but tons of fun!

Today was a beautiful day. Campus was full of tons of great scenery, probably the best I have seen since I started school. The bar tonight was just a perfect way to end the day. I’m off to bed, cause I’m damn tired. Night all!!!

This has to be quick. It’s late and I have class tomorrow. So we went to Woodside Quinn tonight, which I must add was a great show, but at one point I ran into Carissa on my way to the bar. She just looks at me and says, “Ed, kiss me.” I had all kind of thoughts running through my head, but I’m a guy, so I did. I really don’t understand this girl. There is other drama as well, but that will have to wait. It has nothing to do with me though, thank god…

Tomorrow I’ll be seeing Fate Hates Us, which I am very excited for. Goodnight!!!

Yeah, so Carissa and I did talk eventually. Although not in person, it was over the phone. Basically she said that she didn’t want me to be uncomfortable around Dan. I wouldn’t really call it that though. I told her I was just confused about her, and them being together. She said that she wasn’t really sure why they were together, but there must be something because they are together. Then added that it doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings for me, and that it would be different if they weren’t together. I guess that basically just puts me back into the same place I was before, and I told her that. I said that I would just continue to be the way I was before it all happened, and just try to block the event out.

Anyway, that has been going alright I guess. I really do just enjoy being around her, and we continue to go out all the time with the group. We even still call each other daily. I guess there really isn’t much to complain about, plus I don’t know if I want a girlfriend. I’ve had this mentality for quite some time now, and I think I am back to it after a very short lapse. :)

We have had some birthdays over the past couple of days. Bryan’s was the 9th, Brad’s the 10th. I’ve been keeping really busy with school, homework, going out, work, etc.

Tonight, Woodside Quinn is playing Mad Frog. Finally the long wait for a show has ended. I’m gonna get back to work now, have a great day!!!

Still no shows to go to, but that will end very soon. Thursday is when it will start with Woodside Quinn. About this weekend, well it was full of all kinds of swings for me. Great days, great moments, bad days and even worse feelings.

Friday we planned to have a party of Liam’s house. We got a keg, setup some shit so we could play, and started drinking. Of course, we couldn’t get enough people over there, even though there were tons of people right across the street where there wasn’t even a keg. Anyways, Jon and Ken both showed up for the party, as well as Kelly, Carissa, Brad and Chad. Some others came over too, but it really isn’t that important. :) Eventually we played a few songs and had some fun. Speed quarters was what really did everyone in at the party. The night was going alright so far. After a bunch of drinking, a group of us decided to take the walk to Murphy’s. The walk to the bar was quite interesting. At one point Carissa started kissing me and I was just in shock. I am not complaining, but I just didn’t want it to happen like that. She is still talking to Dan, and I didn’t want to cause any problems with that. My goal was to wait it out until she ended it with him, and then I would make my move. Well I guess it is too late for that. At one point Kelly started to kiss me too, and I was thinking threesome, but I just couldn’t work it all out. :) Anyway, we get to the bar. Carissa and I are still making out from time to time, and there was quite a group of people there that we knew. I was thinking that this was such a great night, and I was having a blast. When the bar closed, we went over the Chad’s house and we ended up sleeping next to each other in the little living room or whatever. When I woke up, she had moved into Dan’s bed and I guess that would be the point where all the fun ended.

I left before most of them were awake cause DMB tickets went on-sale. I picked up some tickets for Riverbend and for one of the Deer Creek nights. I got a ticket for Carissa and one for Kelly as well. So then after that I spent most of the day just loungin’ around Liam’s house. I made it home at one point just so I could get ready to party again. We were drinking from the keg again, well because we didn’t have enough people over the night before to kill it. Pretty much the same group of people came over but Dan was added into the mix. I guess Kelly and Chad were both mad at her for bringing him around me. It really didn’t bother me at first, cause I am still waiting for her to just end it all, but I guess for some crazy reason she still wants to try to work things out. Dan has no clue what happened, and I guess it is up to her to tell him. I don’t know what she is going to do. So we all sat around and drank. Eventually everyone headed out of the house to go to a party (for the youngins) or to the Library (the bar). I went to the party for a bit, but left shortly after getting there cause it wasn’t that good. I went to the bar, and this is where everything just started to bug me. I mean Carissa sat the entire night and talked to Dan. She knew I was there, but I guess she is still attempting to work the shit out. I mean she did send a few winks my way, but come on this is just ridiculous. So anyway I spent most of the night talking with Kelly. She was pretty upset for me, maybe even more so than I was. She knows how I feel, and was just shocked. One time Carissa came up to me and we had a little conversation that went along the lines of this:
Her: Ed, I’m sorry.
Me: Don’t be, don’t worry about it.
Her: I just don’t want to loose you as a friend.
Me: Ok
Her: We’ll talk about it sometime when we are alone.
Me: Ok

There are a few things that bug me about this. FRIEND, I can’t stand that word anymore. I hear it way to much and it is not a good thing when you are interesting in someone. I mean I guess she is sorry, not that I was really hurt, but I just want to know what is going on in her head. I will be glad to discuss all of this with her sometime, I just hope it is soon before anything else bad can happen. I think she might be just as confused, if not more, than I am. Every time she leaves a bar, she gives me a nice hug and even kisses my cheek or neck. I don’t really know many people who do that to anyone. And why would she initiate something with me. Kelly thinks that she will go right to me when they are done. But do I really want to be that guy? I know this entry is full of a bunch of questions, you can feel free to IM me with any suggestions or advice on what I should do. I am really just spitting out everything that is in my head.

So tonight, I have a hockey game. Then I’m gonna go to Byron’s birthday bash at some bar, I can’t remember which one. I guess Carissa is brining Dan there again. So I’m sure I’ll have some stories later on…

It’s been a little while since I updated this thing, but I’m still doing better than I usually do. This past weekend was a great time…

Friday, pretty much everyone that I talk to on a frequent basis was over at Liam’s house for a party. Fighty, Pete and I played some songs and we even had some guesting from some of the many guitar players that were in the crowd. It was a great time, and I think everyone enjoyed that. Liam might have enjoyed his birthday a little too much though. :) He broke some glasses, puked at least once, and even passed out with my cell in his pocked. I was lost without that thing, so I spent a good chunk of the night trying to find it. I ended up crashing at Chad & Dan’s ‘camping out’ with Kelly. Overall it was a great night, and I finally got my phone back the next day.

Saturday, all the high school boys went over to Ken’s for some drinking and such. We all had a great time, maybe too much of a good time. :) I don’t even remember passing out on the couch. Nothing big really happened, although I did get to see Ken’s sister Amy again. I grew up in high school spending much time over at Ken’s parents house, so she was almost like a little sister to me too. Karen (Bryan’s ex) and her friend Kate came up from Tennessee, and that was good seeing them again.

Sunday was easter, so happy belated easter! I went to grandma’s house to hear everyone talk about the vacation my cousins and I took for spring break. It was fun to hear what some people had to say.

This week of school has been keeping me really busy. I don’t think I have made it home for dinner in quite a few days. I’m always either in class, working on classwork, or trying to have a social life which can be hard with a demanding schedule. I honestly haven’t been going out a bunch though just to hang out with Carissa. I have the best of times with her, and I think things kind of do look up for us. The only problem is that her and Dan are still dating or whatever, and she wants to try to work that out I guess. I’m not really sure what that means, but that is what Kelly told me. I guess for the time being, I will just keep hanging out and having a good time, as long as no one feels like I am stepping on their toes. It is kind of an awkward situation, but so many people think we are much better together than her and Dan. Ah well, not much I can really do about it now, although I think we may go to dinner on Thursday or something. I would just like to spend a little bit of time with her alone, when she isn’t working or something, so that we have time to just talk and have some fun. If that does happen, I’ll be sure to write about it here.

Tomorrow is Old Saloon night and apparently everyone is going to hit it up this week. That should be fun to get everyone back together again The concert schedule is starting to get packed as well. About time!

Take care everyone…